


Logically Anxious

by Iceglow02, ZRoux



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Anxiety | Virgil Sanders as Paranoia, Logic | Logan Sanders Doesn't Exist, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Slow To Update, Virgil is Logan, Virgil pretends to be a new side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22691182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceglow02/pseuds/Iceglow02, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZRoux/pseuds/ZRoux
Summary: Virgil’s tired of being Anxiety; a dark side, unwanted and ignored. All he wants is to protect his host, Thomas. However, it’s becoming harder to convince Thomas to listen without scaring him. Virgil decides to pretend to be a new side, someone who Thomas will listen to; Logic. Afterall, Anxiety uses reasoning to instil fear, and surely Thomas will take Logic's advice.When the two light sides, Patton and Roman, start inviting him to join their famILY activities, he finds it increasingly more difficult to go back to being Anxiety.In the subconscious, the dark sides are getting suspicious.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Warnings: Panic/Anxiety Attacks.
> 
> If I have missed any tags and/or chapter warnings, feel free to comment and I will add them.  
> If you have any feedback/criticism feel free to leave it in the comments. Any advice, good or bad, is appreciated.
> 
> This fic will be slow to update due to a busy schedule. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. :D

"Thomas, listen to me," Virgil uttered the words through a clenched jaw. The annoyance etched on his face made him look older than his actual mid-twenties. 

No reply. Virgil’s mouth formed a thin line. Why was Thomas ignoring him? It was enough to change Anxiety to Insecurity. If that were to happen, where would they be! This had to stop.    
  
“Thomas!” he yelled then smiled, somewhat satisfied when Thomas finally came to an abrupt halt. Finally! Now to keep him focused.  **“Thomas,”** he said, the word reverberated around Thomas’ chest, turning his blood cold with fear. His breathing became quick and shallow. Virgil's voice had grown significantly deeper and layered. He knew he was overwhelming Thomas, his host. But it wasn’t his fault. If Thomas hadn’t started ignoring him, Virgil wouldn’t have had to be so loud.

“No.” The single word, spoken softly yet desperately, drifted over Thomas’s lips. “Anxiety. Go away.  _ Please _ ,” Thomas begged, clutching his head, his eyes forced shut.    
  
Virgil paused. He wanted to protect his host, warn him about the dangers of going to a party with these strangers, but Thomas hadn’t listened. And now… now Thomas was stuck in place. Invisible vines sprouted from deep within the earth. They coiled around Thomas’s ankles and up his legs until they reached his chest. Sharp little thorns pushed their way out from inside the vines and hooked themselves into Thomas’s flesh. They pulsed, growing thick then thin as they pushed the poison of anxiety into Thomas’s body.

“Please,  _ please,  _ go away.” Violent shivers shook Thomas’s body. At this sight, Virgil took a step back, startled himself of the effect his poison had on Thomas. Virgil had never seen his host this upset with him before. He’d never heard his voice quiver while pleading for him to go away. Thomas was well beyond the simple caution Virgil had wanted to give him. Had he gone too far this time? At least he would not be going to the party anymore, not in his current state.

No matter how he tried, he just couldn’t understand Thomas’s resistance. He tried to see his host’s point of view, but still could not understand why he was he so averse to hearing what Virgil had to say? Why didn’t he just do what Virgil told him to? It would make both their lives so much easier. After all, it was better to be cautious and alert than end up in a ditch dead, wasn’t it? Thomas needed Anxiety. It kept him safe. He should  _ want _ Anxiety, not beg for it to leave him. 

Virgil got ready to call Thomas again, but the word died on his lips. He swallowed hard. His head dropped to his chest when the shadowy cloud that brought Insecurity wrapped itself around him. Who was he kidding? Why would Thomas want a side who stopped him from having fun? Virgil knew deep down he couldn’t blame Thomas for hating his Anxiety. Virgil was a problem; something to be despised.

The vines that had wrapped themselves around Thomas began to wither. The liquid that transported the poison of anxiety to Thomas’s body ceased to flow, growing grey before disappearing altogether. The thorns unhooked from Thomas’s flesh and fell, becoming dust. Without another word, Virgil sank out.

Appearing in his room, Virgil fell back onto his bed. The bags under his eyes were dark and almost reached the corners of his mouth, giving him an ominous appearance. He stared up to the ceiling, his body stiff as a board. He needed to think about what just happened ‘upstairs’. One thing was clear, Thomas was afraid of him. He hadn’t meant for that to happen. He was just trying to warn him of the risks. Thomas wasn’t listening to him, or even acknowledging him. So he had no choice, right? He had to be louder; more forceful with his opinions, but that in turn caused a reaction Virgil had tried to avoid. Thomas was frightened of him. Somehow, Virgil had pushed him over the edge. Now Thomas wouldn’t be able to do anything productive or otherwise for the rest of the day, and this wasn’t ideal.

Virgil sighed deeply. Was there a way this could have been avoided? If he couldn’t alter Thomas’s actions as Anxiety, then who would Thomas listen to? Perhaps, if he possessed some of Morality, Creativity or even Deceit’s skills? He was certain that as Anxiety, there was no other way he would have been able to achieve the best outcome for Thomas, not with his host’s life on the line.   
  
Virgil had been through this song and dance before. The questions and answers milling around in his head always lead him to the same conclusion: Thomas might not want Anxiety, and often outright ignored him, yet Anxiety knew within himself he was needed. With that being the truth, Virgil would have to be the one to change. Or was this where he was wrong? Was he, as Anxiety supposed to change? He kicked off his shoes and sat upright on his bed. 

But that would be a problem. He crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. How could Virgil change the core of his being in such a drastic way? If he turned his back on what he was again and refused to be Anxiety, then who would he become? Apart from that, let’s say he did find a way to reinvent himself, would he ever be able to convince the others? If even one of them connected the dots, he would be done for. So on top of becoming this new part of Thomas, he would have to find a way to deceive the others, too.

Virgil stared blankly at his white-knuckled hands. It was late, but his mind was racing; he would not get any rest that night. The seeds of an idea had already started to grow and soon there would be someone new around the mindscape.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Panic/Anxiety Attacks, Hallucinations: Reality-Warping, Swearing.
> 
> If I have missed any tags and/or chapter warnings, feel free to comment and I will add them.  
> If you have any feedback/criticism feel free to leave it in the comments. Any advice, good or bad, is appreciated.
> 
> This fic will be slow to update due to a busy schedule.
> 
> Thank you for reading. :D

“Look, I’m just saying; you have more to lose going than you do if you stay.” Virgil’s voice shook slightly as he attempted to keep calm. He shut his eyelids, hoping Thomas would not see the vicious storm raging within him. He needed to tread carefully. Thomas had only just started talking to him again, and even though he was still not following Virgil’s advice, it was better than ignoring Virgil altogether.  
  
Thomas had been a hot mess for hours after their last confrontation. He tried to ignore Anxiety in an attempt to pull himself together, but it only had the opposite effect. Trying to forget about Anxiety left him in a worse state than usual, eventually driving him back into Virgil’s cold, trembling arms. 

“Anxiety, I’ll be fine! I’ve auditioned for other shows before; it’s not that big of a deal.” Thomas replied with equal parts annoyance and exhaustion. Virgil glared at Thomas with unmistakable exasperation in both his dark eyes and tone of voice. There wasn’t any semblance of reassurance or comfort for Virgil in his words.  
  
“You don’t know that! You might forget the lyrics or mess up a line. What’s the point in trying if you’re just going to make a fool of yourself?” Thomas flinched. Those dreaded vines of anxiety began snaking around his ankles. Thomas’s face warped into a wince. The more he turned the words over in his mind, the harder it was to see the flaws in Anxiety’s argument.

Two consecutive swooshes interrupted Thomas’s downward spiral. Filling the previously empty space between Virgil and Thomas, now stood two very upset light sides. Patton raced to Thomas’s side to console him, whispering sweet nothings into his ears.

“What do you think you’re doing, Jack Smellington?” Roman glowered.

“Oh, great. Morality and Prince Underarm stink decided to join us.” Virgil sneered, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. He’d almost gotten Thomas to agree with him before Roman and Patton rose up. They were undoing all his hard work. Anxiety was losing his hold on Thomas.

Roman gripped the hilt of his sheathed katana. “We don’t need your input, _Anxiety._ ” The hostility in ‘Light’ Creativity’s voice oozed of unspoken accusations. “Leave,” spat Roman. Anxiety rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, but I’ll be back.” Anxiety crossed his arms. Outwardly, he hoped it looked like he was angry, but in reality, he wanted nothing more than to flee. He quickly sunk down into his room in the mindscape.

The shadows inhabiting his room swarmed Virgil when he appeared. The tension in his shoulders evaporated as if the shadows decided to take it upon themselves to free Virgil from his worries. 

For other sides, his part of the mindscape would refocus their purpose to make Thomas more anxious. Eventually, they would be corrupted, becoming anxious shells of their former functions. Virgil fell back onto his bed. Unlike other sides, Virgil’s room made him feel safe. His room felt welcoming; it was an all-encompassing blanket of darkness. 

The now much calmer side let his eyes drift over his room. They jumped from item to item, never spending too much time on any single thing. 

Virgil’s room faded from his sight as he remembered when Deceit had helped him decorate his room a couple of years back, shortly after he became “Anxiety”...

 _Anxiety was grateful for Deceit’s help. He was pretty sure he never would have changed anything unless it was done for him. The thought of shifting a spider to the right or a skull to the left filled him with dread; who knew how these smallest of changes would mess things up. He might’ve_ hated _the changes or lost something important. No. It was best to leave things just as they were or have a professional like Deceit handle it instead._ _  
__  
__But now… Anxiety wanted Deceit out of his room. Something was wrong._ _  
__“No,” Anxiety whispered and shook his head. He was being stupid. He loved the changes Deceit was making. He filled his lungs with the familiar stale air in his room and smiled. There was no need thinking that way anymore. He was_ Anxiety _now. Paranoia was a far and distant feeling- no longer a part of who he was._  
 _  
__The long fingers of Anxiety’s curtains reached for Deceit and coiled around his neck. Anxiety’s eyes grew wide and the smile he had forced onto his lips faded. No, he was many things, but he wasn’t Madness. Deceit needed to leave. It wasn’t because Virgil was feeling anxious about the changes Deceit was making in his room. No, it was because Deceit_ was in danger. Real danger! 

_At first, he didn’t realize what was happening. When Deceit stepped into his room, everything began to morph, almost becoming jelly. Now, everything in the room was like liquid in zero gravity. The lamps, the spiders, the walls, the pillows… absolutely everything in Anxiety’s room reached out for Deceit. Pulling at Deceit. Pushing at Deceit. Entering Deceit through his nose and mouth and ears. He saw Deceit stumble a few times, yet Deceit did not notice. He liked Deceit; he was the only one that was trying to help him after becoming Anxiety. He wished no harm upon Deceit._

_Anxiety’s black eyes swept across the room, landing on Deceit. Deceit stood still as stone. His white-knuckled fists gripped one of Anxiety’s new black pillows. Anxiety’s chest tightened suddenly; something was wrong._

_“You’ve been staring at that corner for a while,” Anxiety chuckled nervously before continuing with a clearly forced lighthearted tone, “You aren’t going to eat my pet spiders. Are you, Dee?”_

_Deceit gave no response, instead, he slowly turned towards Anxiety. A jolt of panic hit Anxiety at full force. Anxiety’s eyes widened to match Deceit’s. The lying side’s yellow snake eye shone eerily in the darkness. On the opposite side of his face, grew a line of darkness reaching from the bottom of his human eye to the corner of his mouth._

_“D-dee, are you okay?” Blood dripped down Anxiety’s hand as his nails dug into his palm._

_“I’m_ perfectly _fine, Anxiety.” Deceit’s voice was sickly sweet. He smiled widely, allowing his fangs to glint dangerously._

 _“Y-Yeah.” Virgil hesitated only for a moment. “You’re definitely fine, Dee. But, I think we should stop for now.” Anxiety wasn’t sure what was happening but he knew Deceit needed to leave_ right now _. Fake confidence dripped from his mouth. He willed himself to look relaxed. “Let’s go get some food, okay? Dee?”_

_“Ssssssssure.” Deceit hissed almost threateningly. Anxiety carefully walked past Deceit and out his door. Deceit slowly followed._

_The change was instantaneous. The eyeshadow under Deceit’s eye dripped from his face and evaporated before it hit the ground. He collapsed onto his knees, shaking._

_“What the fuck?” Muttered Deceit harshly. “What the fuck was that, Anxiety?” He looked up, shock etched onto his face. His yellow eye was no longer glowing._

_“I don’t know. That’s never happened before. But then again no one’s ever been in my room before.” Anxiety’s previously calm demeanour vanished as quickly as it appeared. He’d never been that scared before._

Ever since that day, neither of them had spoken about it again. If he’d known what his room was capable of doing to the other sides, he would never have invited Deceit over. Deceit acted as if nothing had happened, but never again asked to visit Anxiety’s room. 

A rare, blissful quiet filled Anxiety’s mind. He carelessly kicked off his shoes, knowing this would be one of the few times he would get a full night's rest. Shuffling under his thick blankets, Virgil let his mind drift softly into the valley of sleep. 

Maybe tomorrow he’d hang out with Deceit again. He had nothing else to do since Patton and Roman wouldn’t let Thomas out of their sight for a while. Besides, who knows, maybe Deceit had some advice to share for the Anxious side’s seemingly unwinnable situation.


End file.
